Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Friendship Ferrets

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Who will Play the 2011 Blue Jays? Part 2

A couple days ago we brought you Part 1 of our fantasy cast for Terrence Mallick's untitled 2011 Toronto Blue Jays movie. (see Part 3 here)

For those who don't remember it was Steve Carrell for John McDonald, Ryan Gosling for Aaron Hill, Lee Majors for John Farrell and that creepy persian looking dude for Juan Rivera.

Today, we tackle 2 of the most important roles in Jose Bautista and Alex Anthopoulos.

We also look at the least important role in Jason Frasor. So without further ado...

1. David "Squiggy" Lander is Jason Frasor

From the Wikipedia entry on Laverne and Shirley(Squiggy is) The most obnoxious of the bunch, and the greasiest.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Who will Play the 2011 Blue Jays? Part 1

(Part 2 can be found here, Part 3 can be found here)

A number of people have asked where I've been the last few days.

Well, I have some good news for all Blue Jays fans out there.
After months of preparation, my 2011 Toronto Blue Jays-centric screenplay is complete.

And damn is it good. I mean really good. Like, Oscar-worthy good.

Now normally I'd feel comfortable directing this myself. It's my baby and all. But it's so good that I'd be comfortable handing it off to someone with a little bit more experience.

What's that, Terrence Malick? Tree of Life bombed at Cannes? Sure you can direct.

All I ask is that you keep the below cast:

1. Steve Carell is John McDonald

Who doesn't like Steve Carell? NO ONE.
Who doesn't like John McDonald? NO ONE.

Artist representation of Steve Carrel as John McDonald.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Are the Blue Jays Replacing Juan Rivera with ROBOT JUAN RIVERA?

Japanese news reports their best robot scientists are working on replacing the Blue Jays' struggling Rivera with a Rivera robot.
Apparently the robot Juan Rivera will take a robot bride, who will be fluent in the songs of Bob Seger.
I, for one, welcome this new addition. Your thoughts?

Friday, May 6, 2011

Crocodeer and Jellyfish present: HAPPY BOB SEGER DAY!

HAPPY BOB SEGER DAY! Now with a great petition!

Can you believe that Bob Seger Day is here already?

It seems like just yesterday that we were celebrating last year's Bob Seger Day.

But, as is true almost every year, this Bob Seger Day is not without it's fair share of controversy.

This year, Macomb County Seger tribute band "Lookin' Back" wanted to celebrate Bob Seger Day with a Shelby Township show at the gorgeous Palazzo Grande Banquet Center. To drum up interest, they turned to radio advertising.

Apparently this pissed Seger off.

He got his lawyers involved and Lookin' Back was told that the ads were violating the lucrative Seger trademark. If they didn't stop, action would be taken.


Please sign this petition if you agree:
Once 1000 people agree I will notify Bob Seger of the outcome.

Not sure if you agree? Then read on:

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Top Ten Canadian Television Shows of all Time

On the international stage Canada is known and respected for many things such as:
  • peace
  • order
  • good government
  • groundbreaking, paradigm-shifting, tightly scripted television shows with impressive production values and expressive performances
I made that last point up. For those unfamiliar with the Canadian televsion landscape, it really does suck (with the exception of some proposed science fiction cartoons)

Some people may argue that it's gotten better in the last 10 years or so.

Those people are idiots.

This pre-amble bores me, so without further ado, here are the top ten Canadian television shows of all time.
Bear in mind that by "top ten" I mean "worst travesties ever committed to video".

Crocodeer and Jellyfish Present: What's Up Jersey Shore?

Please note: as mentioned below, the original script for this installment of Crocodeer and Jellyfish was tragically destroyed. Thankfully, I was able to obtain a transcription of a similarily themed Garfield strip from the website seen below. Just when I thought my web presence was pathetic, everything is justified when I realize that someone out there has taken the time to type out scripts of each and every Garfield strip ever published. Well played sir... well played.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Were Anti-Liberal Attack Ads Responsible for the Conservative Majority?

In a word, yes.

After years of damaging public trust and opinion of Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff by calling into question his loyalty to Canada, Stephen Harper's Conservatives pulled off the expected, and walked away with a majority government the other night.

This recently uncovered, rarely seen attack ad is a prime example of how the Conservatives were able to usher in four years of Harper rule: